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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Somethings missing...

Her voice had a tough raspy sound to it. Always did. Once in a while she would even be mistaken for a man. When she would try to talk softly, or to children, there was always a distinct difference in her voice from anyone else I knew. As the years went on, it was obvious she was a smoker as she added the "smoker's cough" to the already raspy voice. There were times I would be mad because of the coughing or the smoking and even yell at her on the phone. I would say, "I'll call you back later when you stop smoking" or "Call me when you can talk, not cough."

What I wouldn't give to hear that damn cough and voice again.

I miss my mom so much my heart hurts. When my dad passed away I thought about him every night when I went to bed. I knew he was sick and suffering and it was still horrible to lose him and still sucks he is gone, but I didn't want him to be in pain or to suffer any longer. With my mom, it was so unexpected that I think I am still in shock.
I think about her every single day and what I wouldn't give to just hear her voice or to see her face. I got ripped off and I am still pissed about it.
I am an orphan at 33 and I hate every minute of it.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I love you and I know exactly how it feels to be ripped off. If you need a shoulder, know that I am here.

Anonymous said...

Wow Athena, this was deep...you threw me off guard with this one. I almost started bawling a bit. It's weird to see your dad with the extra pounds. And your mom with the half smile, gotta' love it! Sorry you are down, baby. Call me and I will get ya' laughin!

Alison

AmyO said...

Ok, now I'm right there with you. It sucks. I'm sorry.